They are coming to take my life. They do not know. They do not believe.

They?

No, I will not center my final moments on them. They are of no consequence in my life... the true life that is not seen by them. That life they can not take from me.

Jesus, precious savior of my lost and empty soul, You are with me in this moment, as You have been with me even before I knew you. For that I am most thankful. Even now, when peace would abandon others, You flood me with calm amidst my destroyers. This final battle is not with the enemy I can see... it is with the powers of darkness that I can not see. Your peace, dear Lord, has defeated even that foe.

Have I done all you required, Lord? All you expected of me? In my youth my days were wasted and I am sorrowful for that waste. I was deceived by my own importance. The position I held with the Queen was one that left others envious of me and I arrogantly walked in that pompous pride. You know, though, dear Savior, that I performed my duties excellently for my Queen. She ruled well because I served well. It is my nature. It was no different when I chose to serve You.

Forgive me, Lord. It was different. I have never understood, but from the instant I chose to serve You, it has been You who has served me. The more my life was dedicated to You, the more You dedicated Your life, Your authority, Your power to supply my needs. It mystifies me how the heathen can not see Your goodness, for I know Your mercy extends even to them. Once again, I am left in awe of You.

I had no family but my Queen. You increased my standing with her as I decreased my pride. The result was that even the Queen eventually accepted You. Lord, that was no small task. In my country the Queen is Candace, or ruler, only because her husband is seen as a god by my people. He is too holy to be bothered with the affairs of men, so it is his wife, the Candace, who rules. For her to accept You, Lord, meant that she must reject the belief of her people and the holiness of her own husband. In those early years of my Christian walk, I often looked like a traitor to the beliefs of my country. I served my Queen, the Candace but not her god, her husband.

Lord, now I understand a deep spiritual truth that had evaded my meager wisdom. You, Lord, are one with Your Father and Your Spirit. You truly are God. My people believed the Queen's husband to be god, but you, Lord, truly are. You have married Yourself to us, the Christian believer, and made us Your Queen. You gave us the powers of the Candace, the powers to represent You in every way. The earthly power I understand well because of my service to the Queen. If her husband instructed her, she did as he instructed, but most often she ruled by her own wits. In such fashion, You have allowed me to rule and reign as Candace of my own life, only instructing when guidance was needed. Lord, it was needed so often and You never failed to guide me down the right path. Even now. Even when the path leads to the end of my earthly life.

It is, after all, the path I willingly chose to walk so many years ago. As representative to my Queen, my duties took me to a land far from my own. In that land I learned the words of Isaiah, the prophet, that said:

He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth.

Philip, Your obedient servant, was indeed led by You as he foolishly ran beside my carriage and asked if I understood what I read. He made me to understand the truth. Since that time I have lived for You.

Lord, they have finally raised the sword that will take my earthly life. They now generously offer me the opportunity to renounce You. That is not a thing I could do. Instead, I will follow Your example and open not my mouth.

Take this Ethiopian eunuch home, Lord.

I have no regrets

copyright 2008 Gerald Shuler

I'm an introverted extrovert with an annoying pessimistic optimism. Sometimes I confuse myself so much I simply must write to find out what in the world I am actually thinking. In spite of that, I remain a faithful servant and minister of my Lord, Jesus Christ.

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